Emotional resilience is when you are able to calm your frantic mind after encountering a negative experience. It’s being able to adapt and bounce back, dusting ourselves down and jumping up again.
It is what enables us to deal with stressful situations and maintain our calm.
This ability changes and develops through our lives and we may be incredibly resilient in some areas, but susceptible to triggers in others.
Our resilience can change throughout the day, week month and so on.
Its as though we have cups, cups for anxiety, sadness, shame, coping and sometimes one or more of these cups can overflow.
Resilience is important as it helps us to develop systems and techniques to protect us against experiences that we may perhaps find overwhelming.
But sometimes we think we are resilient due to all the crap we’ve had to deal with, but actually dealing with crap and being emotionally resilient are not the same.
It can help us through stressful times
In terms of its wider benefits:
- Improved learning and academic achievements
- Reduced absence from work due to sickness
- Increase in physical and emotional health
- Reduction in self soothing habits such as drinking, smoking or the use of drugs
- Increased involvement in community and family activities
Why don’t all people read the same?
Why do some people seem to cope better than we do, are they stronger? Why don’t they react the same way?
We could place a group of people under the same stressful situation and they may all act differently. So many things affect our reaction. But what we are reacting to is not the situation it self, because that is neutral. We know its neutral because not everyone would react the same way.
Its the thought…
What we do as humans, is generate a thought relating to the situation, this thought leads to an emotion, which will fit in the broad sorrow / fear/ joy categories ad the result…
We produce a chemical, oxytocin, adrenaline and our body reacts, that reaction leads to behaviours that lead back to thoughts.
Where does resilience come from
Inherent resilience – this is the natural resilience with which we are born. This natural resilience protects us, and informs how we discover and explore the world; learn to play, learn and also to take risks. We tend to find this developing under the age of 7, the time we also lay down core beliefs and it can be hugely affected by trauma.
Adapted resilience – this occurs at varying points in our lives, and is usually when we go through a difficult or challenging experience.
imagine you have been made redundant, and you have to head out the next day to look for a new job,
or its the end of a relationship, and you need to find the strength/courage to, over time, meet someone new.
This type of resilience can give enable us to manage stresses and pain and it needs to be learnt in the moment really,
Learnt resilience – this type of resilience is built up over time, its activated from the learning we did through difficult past experiences
What we do is learn to utilise it during stressful times. Have you ever drawn upon a strength hat you really didn’t know you had in a difficult time? Well that where this comes from
How I can help
Being able to recognise this is powerful, but not always easy to do on your own. And this is where I come in, exploring these thought emotion and reaction cycles is huge. And with some people, this recognition alone is enough
For other we utilise mind and body tools as necessary, including mindfulness and visualisation and often we dig deeper and address sub conscious core beliefs where necessary
Want to know more, why not book a free 20 minute chat?
Would you like me to come and talk at an event, meeting or within your business?
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